TX Gov. Rick Perry: Social Security And Medicare Are Totally Unconstitutional

"I don’t think our founding fathers when they were putting the term 'general welfare' in there were thinking about a federally operated program of pensions nor a federally operated program of health care. What they clearly said was that those were issues that the states need to address. Not the federal government. I stand very clear on that. From my perspective, the states could substantially better operate those programs if that’s what those states decided to do." - Texas Gov. Rick Perry, speaking to Newsweek.

Christine O'Donnell Reads From Her Book

"They call us 'wackos'! They call us 'wingnuts'! We call us 'we the people!'"

Mike Bickle: Demons Have Attacked Me Physically At Least Ten Times

This guy shared the stage with TX Gov. Rick Perry at Houston's prayer rally.

Quote Of The Day - Judson Phillips

"I will tell you ladies and gentlemen, I detest and despise everything the left stands for. How anybody can endorse and embrace an ideology that has killed a billion people in the last century is beyond me." - Tea Party Nation CEO Judson Phillips, speaking at a Republican event in Wisconsin.

A Gift From Newsweek To Us All

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Newsweek for this hilariously deranged photo of Crazy Eyes. Maybe somebody there has been reading JMG.

Jeebus Will Save Us From The Comet

And it's all going down on August 15th!

Email Of The Day - Eugene Delguadio

"Dear Joe, The Radical Homosexuals infiltrating the United States Congress have a plan: Indoctrinate an entire generation of American children with pro-homosexual propaganda and eliminate traditional values from American society. Their ultimate dream is to create a new America based on sexual promiscuity in which the values you and I cherish are long forgotten. You see, the Homosexual Classrooms Act contains a laundry list of anti-family provisions that will exempt homosexual students from punishment for propositioning, harassing, or even sexually assaulting their classmates, as part of their specially-protected right to 'freedom of self-expression.'" - Escaped mental patient Eugene Delguadio, the self-proclaimed Public Advocate of the United States.

NOTE: Delgaudio's emails are always entertaining due to the dizzying heights of his outrageous lying. But I always wonder how many old ladies are eating cat food tonight because they've signed over their meager funds to charlatans like Eugene Delgaudio, who closes every email with a desperate plea for money.

Cindy Jacobs: My First Biblical Vision

Whackdoodle televangelist Cindy Jacobs, whom you probably best know for claiming that God killed millions of birds to show his displeasure with the repeal of DADT, relates her first biblical vision:

Around three a.m., I was awakened by a voice, "Wake up! I want to talk with you! I am Gabriel and I am here to give you a message from God.” I did not see him; nonetheless, I had no doubt that he was who he said he was. The next thing I knew, I was having a vision of mounting and riding a huge chestnut horse and my friend Julie was mounting and riding a white stallion. She was part of a vast army of women. As the Lord showed me country after country, I saw thousands of women on horseback behind me to march across the earth. In the vision, I was wearing armor and carried a sword.Gabriel told me that the women in the vision comprised a great company of women who would march across the planet, preaching the gospel, doing miracles, and transforming the nations.

Jacobs says that God frequently speaks to her personally. That's when he reveals the various reasons that he routinely kills millions of people with earthquakes and tsunamis. Usually, it has to do with the gays. Gay marriage in Mexico City? Kill 50,000 Japanese! So sayeth Cindy.

AUSTRALIA: Man Claiming To Be Jesus Christ Gains Devoted Followers

And he brought Mary back with him!

Crazy Eyes: Being Gay Means Being Enslaved To Homosexuality

Yeah, I don't know what that means either.

People From The Future Failed To Prevent The Gay-Bashing Of GOProud's LaSalvia

Supernatural Organ Transplant

Celery

"I will tell you my favorite food of all time is celery. Honest to God my favorite food is celery. Straight up celery. I will personally consume the entire stalk of celery. At the Thanksgiving table I have the plate of celery in front of me." - Michele Bachmann, via Andrew Sullivan.

Today In Freaky Faith Healing

I've posted a lot of these clips, but this one might just be the gold medal winner in the Crazy Olympics.

Jeebus Will Heal Your Toothache

AUDIO: Crazy Eyes Prays For Anti-Gays

Pastor John Hagee: We're Not Winning Any Wars Because Of Pagan U.S. Soldiers

Caption This

Victoria Jackson: Obama = Hitler

World Net Daily today runs an editorial from former SNL cast member Victoria Jackson, who says that the president is exactly like Hitler. And he's going to kill you.

Hitler, like Obama, was a "socialist" who came from a dysfunctional family, had a communist father who abused alcohol, womanized and sired several children from different mothers, had a white mother, suffered child abuse and neglect, moved often, lied about his birth and heritage, changed his name, was a narcissist, rose to power with the help of disreputable men, had the Rothschilds as financial backers, stirred up racial conflict and class warfare, wrote a biography about race at age 35, followed up with another book used to launch a political career, supported infanticide (partial-birth abortion), gave big speeches in stadiums, promised change and a new social order, had youth groups singing his praises, used propaganda, used voter fraud and intimidation, controlled the media, created "crises," used a poor economy, hated Jews (Israel), pretended to be "Christian," advocated population control and euthanasia, socialized medicine, formed a private army and then … killed his political opposition with his private army. Well, I am Obama's political opposition. That's why I am concerned.